Interpret and annotate What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang). Here is the story transcript. Here is Lulu Wang's website.
For this blog post I'll be responding to a podcast were listened to in class. The podcast was by Lulu Wang in which she describes a conflict that affected her family and created a moral conflict within herself. Her family is given the news that her grandmother will pass away in three months. Rather than have her last few months sad and stressful they decide to keep it a secret from the grandmother. Wang must decide to either keep this secret like the rest of the family or tell her grandmother the truth. I feel as though the grandmother should have been aware of her situation, even though it was in good will they still lied to her. To me keeping her in the dark seems unfair, its her life and knowing how much time she has left on this earth something she has a right to know. The grandmother may not have had the reaction they expected, maybe she would have just accepted it and went on with life as usual. Keeping such a huge secret amount each other seems very selfish to me. The family is more concerned about getting their last goodbyes in then seeing how she is medically or making her comfortable. Now, I understand its a culturally thing and this may be considered the norm but something about it just does not sit right with me. Its good to hear her grandmother leaved passed expectations though. I wish her family the best of luck. Growing up I had always felt different from other people emotionally. Things that seemed simple to some were a major deal to me enough to make me cry, to "shut down" and stay in my room for hours just lying in bed. I didn't know it at the time but I had anxiety and depression. This is the story of when I finally came to terms with it as well as revealing it to my parents. Where to begin, for starters my parents aren't exactly aware of mental health issues or anything similar. The possibly of one of their children having any sort of disorder was nonsense, unfathomable. Looking back I realize I had showed signs of depression for years. I can remember back in grade school feeling my heart pounding upon being called to the front of the class, a slight glance from the teacher or fellow student was enough to make my mind spiral out of control with thoughts. "have I done something wrong?" "does this person hate me" "I shouldn't be here".... etc. This would go on to the point I felt sick to my stomach. I dealt with this for years thinking it was normal to have these feelings and thoughts and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I finally broke down. It was a routine doctors appointment. The doctor asks " how are you feeling today?" and I answer "good!" as usual. " How about mentally?" she ask. I hesitate for a moment "um just fine". Then that same feeling returns that punching in my gut tears on the verge of running down my face. The doctor steps out for a moment and I lose it. Bawling out of control my mother who was there with me sitting with this look of confusion but all I felt was shame. All that time holding myself together and a few word were the straw that broke the camels back. She tries to calm me down but I just ask her to leave so I can speak with the doctor alone. I told her everything, everything I had bottled up and to my surprise...it was nice. There was no judgement in her eyes no look of disappoint like I had expected, only understanding. We talked for awhile and she scheduled me an appointment with a therapist. It was strange but the only I felt was relief after leaving her office like a weight had lifted off my chest. My mother wasn't very understanding as I had hoped though. Saying that I was depressed to my mother didn't really gain her sympathy at first. "Everyone gets depressed" " you can be happy if you want to" "you're just overreacting" Every sentence like a dagger, pushing me back into my shell. My father didn't have to much to saw he just wanted me to feel better. I had turned eighteen at this point so I handled everything on my own. Got my medicine on my own, went to my own appointments even got a job. I found the most support outside the home, my friends became my backbone during such a difficult time. Its been about a year now I'm doing well ,my parents have come around and I have goals for myself. So far the future is looking bright despite such a bleak past.
2 Comments
David Miller
9/26/2017 08:26:45 am
I'm glad you could share your story, one of my best friends has the same thing. He takes medicine for it to keep him in a better state but some days it gets bad.
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Ashley Coley
10/21/2017 07:49:20 pm
I have a close friend who is going through this and her parents reacted the same way, most days she feels like giving up and I have to reassure her. I am glad your future's looking brighter.
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sIANI DAVISThis blog is for class assignments as well as self-expression and growth. Archives
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